# The struggle within

## The emotions of programming

There's a stereotype of a programmer sitting emotionless in front of the computer entering lines of code as though they were just transcribing them from memory. But if you've been around programmers you know that it's more like the stereotype of the frustrated composer. We bask in the glories of code that works perfectly the first time. We glower at code that misbehaves. We go from cheering ourselves in victory to cursing the machine with clenched fists. We swing from emotion to emotion: exuberance, joy, fear, anger, resentment, sadness, loneliness, guilt, and shame. 

No wonder we're exhausted by the end of the day.

Programming is a taxing process. Not only do we need to keep a mental model of the software we're working on, but we also have our emotional attachment the software. Our emotional state can mirror what we feel about what we're creating; whether we're excited, bored, or stuck. Keeping a positive attitude about software that isn't measuring up to our expectations is exhausting. Couple that with our own insecurities, fears, and doubts and you begin to see why programmers tend to burn out - it's a combination of the stress of the job and our emotional reaction to that stress.

## Emotional drains

There are several factors that can cause us emotional highs and lows. These are some that I've noticed in my own programming.

### Purpose and utility

If we clearly see where this code will become useful we can get a sense of drive and purpose. We're working toward something that will benefit folks! Whatever pitfalls lie in wait for us we can be assured that we will do our best to make sure that we conquer them as best we can because people are depending on us. We can tap into the emotional high of self-worth and purpose to help buoy us along.

The opposite is true, of course. If we don't see the purpose then our work will seem in vain. We'll struggle to meet deadlines and feel a sense of worthlessness in our pursuits. Sometimes it's just a bad project, or it's a project that isn't aligned with our underlying purposes and goals. We can be frustrated trying to meet some arbitrary deadline if we don't see the point of what we're working on. 

### Engagement vs. boredom

(Discuss code that engages vs. code that bores us).