You can do this in the context of mindfulness meditation but even sitting still in your desk and saying "for one to two minutes I'm just going to sit here and explore my emotional state" should suffice. Seeing our emotions for what they are and thinking to what is causing them can help us understand what we're feeling.
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## Our story
-(Discuss our internal monologue and our story).
+Each one of us have a story that we tell ourselves. The stories we tell ourselves shape our perception of the world. We tell ourselves stories of how the day will be, and how we will engage with the day. We create a world in which we are the central protagonist of our story (which we are). We tell ourselves stories like "the work I'm about to do will be amazing" or "I'm going to work through this problem quickly and will have an awesome solution when I'm done". Or we tell ourselves a story about how we're not good at what we're doing and will likely fail in the attempt. We weave a tale of struggle, pain, and misery.
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+Our emotions inform the story we tell. If we're feeling amazing we tell ourselves that what lies ahead will also be amazing. If we're feeling down and defeated our story reflects that.
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+The story is just that - a story. Our stories are not a guarantee of how the day will progress. We can tell ourselves that today will be amazing but watch in horror as each interaction we have causes that story to reflect a different reality. Or we can say that today will totally suck and we won't accomplish anything but instead have a pretty decent day.
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+What we can do instead of creating these grand stories is focus more on the things that we love about the present moment. Instead of saying that we're going to have an amazing day we can say that there are things that we are looking forward to in this project and we hope to work on them. Instead of filling your day with dread you can focus on the little victories along the way. Yes, even something as small as "my computer booted without crashing" can be a victory.
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+Giving ourselves the power to focus more on the present and the very next steps we're about to take gives us the freedom to recalibrate as the day progresses. We can focus on the positive aspects of what we're doing instead of seeing how reality is diverging from our internal stories.
## Awareness in action
-Say in this moment that we're feeling anxious. We've just received a bug report and it's related to something we're working on. The bug report states that code that we committed earlier isn't working and probably has never worked the way we thought it worked. As we read the bug report our anxiety levels increase. Our inner monologue kicks in and we start telling ourselves that we aren't nearly as good as we thought. We're not perfect. We suck.
+Say in this moment that we're feeling anxious. We've just received a bug report and it's related to something we're working on. The bug report states that code that we committed earlier isn't working and probably has never worked the way we thought it worked. As we read the bug report our anxiety levels increase. Our inner monologue kicks in and we start telling ourselves that we aren't nearly as good as we thought. We're not perfect. We suck. We didn't get enough sleep the night before so our emotions are in a state of heightened awareness. Our mind races to the other times when we've failed. As we keep reading our sense of dread kicks in. What will they think of me? What do they think of me now? Am I going to lose my job over this?
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+Before we've even finished the bug report we've created a story where we can only think of our past failures. Worse, we've already added this one to the list of failures. We also added to the stakes of this bug report. Not only do we have to fix whatever broke but now we have to fix our reputation and start a job search.
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+The story we've created isn't a good story, but I'm sure you can relate to it. You've had this story play out in your head. It's a story based on our insecurities and feelings of inadequacy. It's fueled by a feeling of fear: fear that you'll ruin your reputation, fear they won't trust you, and fear that you'll fail.
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+Fear is one of the most powerful emotions we have but it's not the only one. Reading that bug report may also elicit other emotions like grief (we thought that code was good and now that thought is gone), uncertainty (how will we fix the problem), and anger (how could we have deluded ourselves into thinking this worked?). We may also feel sadness and loneliness. We could feel disconnected and adrift.
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+Being aware of the feelings we have can help us diagnose the story we told ourselves and how it didn't match reality.
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+(Discuss more about feelings, the story, and how to best learn from our feelings).
projects / themediocreprogrammer.git / commitdiff